I Wasn't Ready!!!

I vaguely recall that day in fifth-grade class when Ms. Simmons threatened us with extra homework if we became too rowdy during the nurse's upcoming presentation on puberty and sex education. We didn't get extra homework that day. Come to think of it, we didn't get any homework at all. In hindsight, it might have been dear ole Ms. Simmons' silent way of sympathizing with her shell-shocked students' reaction to the highly technical but still borderline inappropriate slideshows.

As momentous as that day was in the life of an innocent child, I somehow failed to associate it to my own son's current age and grade and the subsequent curiosity that comes with it. Sure, Lou and I had discussed discussing it with him, but the deadline for that talk was scheduled for way way later (or so we thought).

Sophie had been asking if she could sleep with Mom and Dad that night, and before I could deny her request yet again, Mister D answered for me, "No! Mom and Dad need private time," followed by a giggle. I glanced at him questioningly, and he said, still giggling, "I know what you guys do in private time! s-e-x!"

At this point, my inner mommy alarm was furiously ringing in my ears, urging me to keep cool. My supposed ally for this subject was still at work. I was being bombarded unprepared and alone! A wrong reaction at the moment could mean the difference between a close or distant relationship with my future teenage son! I remember informing my father about that day in fifth grade and the nurse's encouragement to discuss the topics presented with our parents. My dad stared straight ahead at some show he wasn't watching and simply said, "Sex, don't do it. Drugs, don't do it. Just say no!" And that was that. I didn't approach the subject ever again.

A part of me had crumpled in despair at the realization my first-born is no longer a baby. Somehow, I managed to adapt a look of "wise mom" and aptly answered his questions and left the door open for the official talk that would have Lou in my corner.

It seems to have been successful considering I wasn't ready. Talk about blindsided!