Mr. D is the one of our three born with a halo; one to follow rules and always always eager to please. He prefers structure and routine, and definitely walks the line. The one thing that gets to me, however, is his (how do I say it delicately?) fearful nature. He is our worrier, concerned about sicknesses and diseases, backup plans, and schedules. But the one thing he is most afraid of is hypodermic needles. (Good thing, I won't have to worry much about intravenous drugs with him.)
But it's flu season, and Fam Och is the type of fam that benefits from the flu shot. Others do perfectly fine without it...we don't. And so, tonight, we herded the brood over to the flu shot clinic, and my little man reacted the worst of all three. He wouldn't stop talking about it all day, announcing his countdown in hour increments. I tried to reassure him as best I could, reminding him that he has received the same darn shot every year and he turned out fine. The logic seemed to escape him, and the countdown continued, but with an added,"Mom, don't get mad if I cry."
When his turn came up, he froze and tensed up and started yelling out loud in short bursts. L tried to distract him, but the only way he looked away was for L to grab his face and force it in the direction of the wall. He was so consumed with fear, he didn't even realize the shot was already administered.
Now, the boy is ten years old. L and I have realized that this may be a long-standing phobia that will accompany him to adulthood. We have tried all sorts of different approaches to address the issue: gentle re-assurance (it seems to feed the fear monster even more) and tough love (but we're afraid this will make him feel inferior). So as of right now, L and I are at a loss of what we need to do to alleviate his fears.
What would you do in our shoes? What fears slash phobias do you have? What do you do to help the issue out?
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Nerves
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3 comments:
L is our big worrier and little miss anxiety. She is deathly afraid of injections too. One year it took more than the 2 of us to hold her down for a flu shot. I have to spring it on her (all immunizations) and explain later (which may be part of the problem...). Anyway, once she understands it is for her good, to keep her healthy and that we required her to have it because we love her, she will usually calm down and relax about it. I think that injections will always be something she is afraid of. We do have her think about what she would want for her little brother or for her kids if she was the Mom, and that seems to help too.
She is also afraid of natural disasters and worries about it like nothing else. We can't watch the news with her around. We have had lots of tears and questions and fear over these types of occurances, and even 'the possibility' of tornados, earthquakes, fires, etc. Teaching her how to pray was a big source of comfort for her as well as involving her in 'getting prepared' (72 hour emergency kits, food storage, etc.)
Me? I'm terrified to fly. I need meds to get me on a plane. Lots of 'em. ;)
I feel for him- Needles are scary! Who wants a peice of pointed metal sticking into their skin?
I'm a BIG baby, so when I have to get poked (even if it is for my own good), I like everyone to make a big deal about how tough and brave I am... I also always have lots of sugar readily available for when I'm about to pass out ;)
I am claustrophobic..elevators,tunnels, closets...even shopping at day-after-Thanksgiving sales give me the heebie jeebies. Oh, and big bridges. Lou loves laughing at me while I scream my heart out as I drive over any bridges.
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