Adventures in "Italian" Dining in Utah: A Review

It is the company you keep that makes the time worthwhile. Boy, was that saying ever true than it was tonight. A bunch of friends accompanied Lou and I for a supposed "authentic" Italian dinner at Marcello's in Bountiful. By appearance alone, the experience looked to be promising. It was a quaint little establishment with a mural of a scene much like one you would find at the Amalfi coast plastered on one side of the narrow dining area.

Even more charming, an accordion player was stationed at one end, playing the standard Italian tune "O Sole Mio." The charming factor quickly wore off as the overbearing volume of the amp filled the room with not-so-standard ditties such as "Tennessee Waltz" and "You Are My Sunshine" which continued with even more horrible selections as "This Land is My Land" and the horrendous "The Chicken Dance."

The menu was filled with Italian standards such as spaghetti, fettucine alfredo, and pizza. The curious nightly special, hand-scrawled on a piece of copy paper and slipped into a plastic sleeve stated: BEEF STEAK with SALTATED VEGETABLES. We assumed this may be an Italian interpretation of the cooking method of sauteeing.

The food was nothing remarkable. The dishes spoke of an authentic Italian's homecooking...an Italian who couldn't cook so well. Most everyone was happy with their meals, but of course I would have the luck to order the exception. The meat canneloni suspiciously resembled corn tortilla enchiladas, and as it so turned out, sure tasted an awful lot like it, as well. After a closer inspection, the usual semolina pasta roll of a canneloni was in actuality a CORN TORTILLA. What?!?!?! Maybe my dish got switched with someone's Mexican take-out in the kitchen? Needless to say, I could only stomach a bite or two and gave up on my plate. Instead, I ate Lou's saltated zucchini slices and the remaining bruschetta bread.

The establishment's redeeming factor? Our tall, pudgy, and absolutely endearing fruity waiter, whose shy valley girl remarks gave us all something to smile about. "We actually don't have Cherry Pepsi, I don't even know why that's on the menu." Also on the thumbs-up list, the warm greasy bread slices that saved my stomach from hunger pains.

But of course,the best part of the night: the hysterically funny company of our now-"official"-friends.