Roots and Wings

They say it is the wise mother who gives her child roots and wings. I never paid much attention to this adage until I was enmeshed in a gargantuan tribute photobook project for my mother. There's something about leafing through yellowing photographs of my own parents, a reflection of a life before they became 'mom and dad'. I marvelled at their youth, especially of the free fun-loving spirit my mother was back then. I admit my own narrow vision limited them to the disciplinarians and parental figures of my own youth. It was an enlightening experience, heart-warming, and priceless.

During a somewhat touchy conversation with a dear relative of mine, I had compared her stubborness and pride to that of our family, mostly in jest, yet still containing a ring of truth. To my surprise, much offense was taken. It seems any similarity shared between them was too great of an insult to tolerate. The situation was quickly patched up (although after this post, it may not be), but it remained in the back of my mind. It bothered me.

Given, my relatives on that side of the family are a set of characters in themselves. A bunch of nuts with a sprinkling of normalcy here and there (my cousin one of the few normal ones). Dysfunction reigns on that side of the world, and each of my clan has at least one fatal flaw in their person. But who doesn't?

Perhaps because I am so detached from the whole situation, I am willing to overlook such shortcomings. I have never really lived up close and personal with them, and haven't been continuously exposed to that lifestyle. Maybe that makes me more "tolerant"?

But I think it bothered me to that extent because in my view, disowning what is passed down to you in terms of heritage and culture, both good and bad, and simply identifying yourself as an individual in and of itself seems disrespectful somehow. We are who we are not just by what we make of ourselves, but also by our origin. Severing ties from one's roots is the ultimate denial in self. And only the humble can appreciate the true gift in one's heredity. More importantly, one can never truly fly without it.