The relationship between a mother and her grown daughter is a delicate one. I imagine it will also ring true when it comes time for my own to grow up and decide they don't need me. But just the same, as much as I have enjoyed catching up on the family gossip in the Philippines, and simply being with my momma around, I can't help but yearn for the routine I had so carefully and painstakingly established upon L's departure.
Sounds like the words of an ungrateful lout, you say? There are times I fear I am. Guilty as charged. It's just I have worked SO hard to create a schedule and way of doing things that both the children and I operate well under. And an extra person thrown into the mix, especially an exceptionally doting grandmother who throws rules and limitations out the window, sends everything into a jumble. Goals I have set such as bottle weaning and potty training have been put on pause, and in certain ways progress in such areas have been erased. (She sneaks the baby bottles, for Pete's sake! Where she finds these bottles, as I have thrown them out, who knows? Grandma-magic-land?)
I, the ungrateful daughter, feel sabotaged on some level.
The funny thing is, I realize it is some vicious cycle we dance around. She leaves and I crave her company. She visits and I'm pulling my hair out. I can't win either way. Maybe that is how these things must be? I sure don't know.
How are things with you and yours?
2 comments:
My Mom lives 30 minutes away and sometimes that is too close. For her more than me. Luckily for all of us, she lives close enough that she has never stayed with me for more than a few hours a time.
My Mother in law on the other hand, is the one who sabotages my parenting plans. Go figure.
I understand about the schedules. I too have schedules and expectations I like to keep. When they are disturbed, so am I. I am fortunately family free. I say fortunately in the way that I love my parents but find I have a much better relationship with them now that they live 2,806 miles away. I am not sure what it would be like if they were near. Anytime I think of it I groan.
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