It's Worse

It's just one of those days. It hasn't even hit noon yet...and boy, oh, boy. I, in my infinite arrogance, assumed today would turn out on the opposite end of the spectrum. *Sigh* So, I decided to actually get up before Mister D left for school and cook him a decent breakfast (what an upstanding mother) since he has his end-of-year exams this week. Scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, chocolate milk....pretty good so far.


We sit down at the table...Liv, our very own piggy devoured her share before I got a bite in mine. Apparently, her portion did not satisfy the bottomless pit that is her tummy, and she directed her attention to my plate. She ate that all as well. It gets worse...I decided to settle for a slice of banana bread instead since we were out of eggs. I sat down with my slice and a cup of coffee only to realize Liv was eyeing my meal with interest. She immediately helped herself to a mouthful. Oh, and it gets worse...she decided she didn't want it after all and deposited her regurgitated mush on top of the remainder of my intended breakfast.


And THEN...lovely Liv demonstrated her capacity for toilet training...she sat down, did her business and enjoyed the obligatory celebration her mother performs after a successful potty episode. Two minutes later after dressing her in her big girl panties, she insisted she needed to go again! I resisted at first, although the temper tantrum won out and I assisted her onto the seat once more. She danced with her bottom dangling above the bowl, clapped, and pointed at her hooha....but no official potty business. I kicked her off, since (TMI) I felt the urge to do some of my own business on the throne. She pitched a fit while I was in her favorite seat and kept insisting she still needed to go potty. UGH! I hate when I have to excrete with such an obnoxious distraction! Awful, huh? No, no wait! It gets worse. Apparently, her pleading proved true and she simply squatted in front of me (remember she's in her panties) and runs runny stinky poop down her legs and onto the bathroom rug.

And THEN...I managed to clean her and the bathroom up after cutting myself off (don't you hate that?) without upchucking my breakfast and set the tub to fill after she was rinsed off. After a bit, I decided it safe to continue my unfinished business. So there I was again, trying to collect the bits and pieces of my sanity and shove that awful sight I had to clean up previously, when I heard Liv say, "EEEEEW." I look up and there is that loose poop again, only this time it is floating in her bath water. Oh, no, no, WAIT! It gets worse! Sophie was in the bath with her!!! Oh, that's not even the worse part! I promise it is worse!!! SHE HAD CORN last night!

I can't wait to see what the rest of the day will bring! Wooohooo! Bring it on! It can't get worse that this.......right?